Oh, man, I can’t even die right!

Disclaimer:  There’s very little I do well.  I’m pretty good at my top-secret day job.  I’m a decent mathlete.  I’m also very good at annoying people.  But other than that, I’m a few pints short of a gallon (is that a saying? probably not, I make stuff up…).  

Anyhow, up until recently I thought “dying” would be something I couldn’t screw up.  I mean, there’s really only one result, right?  Plus, I have way too much life insurance (enough that I sleep with one eye open sometimes…haha).  I have also spoken with my wife about what to do if I die to take care of the family, etc.  And I have written out some directions to help her get through the grief without having to worry about all the ministerial stuff, you know, passwords, things to pay, things not to pay (my student loans, which disappear), autopays, etc.  Hmm… maybe I should have a “Nick won’t be blogging anymore” post in the queue for her… OK, this is getting really creepy…

But then I saw a post over at Yahoo! finance about how to die the right way and I scored a paltry 25% complete.  Wow!  According to the post, there are 8 steps to dying right.  Let me know how you score in the comments.  I’ll post my embarrassing stats right there in the list.  Man, I need to get my butt in gear!

1. Write a will (put it in writing).  Swing and a miss!  I have a basic will drafted, but I need to finalize it and get it signed.  I did one of those do-it-yourself wills online for my wife and me but got distracted.  I should probably see a pro, but as they say, perfect is the enemy of good.  I need to just get it freakin’ done.  Our biggest hang-up is who is going to raise our kids if we both die.  (yes, that means either too many good choices or two few… I won’t say which one…).
2. Consider life insurance (provide for basic needs).  Done.  My wife’s going to be all set financially if I die.  We got 30-year term policy that will set her and the kids up for house and college.  Yep… like I mentioned… too much probably.  But it was so damn cheap I figured I would err on the side of too much versus too little.  Got 28 years to go on the term, too.  I may re-price it this year though to see if I can drop the price more.  It keeps getting cheaper.
3. Establish 3 critical end-of-life documents (delegate control).  Fail.  I have no durable power of attorney to manage my $$ and legal affairs.  Same with release of information form to let the docs share my medical info.  Same with advance directives like living will and health care proxy.  All started with the will.  None finished. 
4. Avoid probate (pass it on with less mess).  Fail, for the most part.  If I die right now, probate is in the cards.  Same with my wife.  When we buy a house, we’ll hold it to pass automatically upon death outside of probate.  Our joint accounts already do that.  But we each have property and accounts only in our names.  They’ll be a pain in the butt for sure, but because I own property with a buddy (and related accounts) we’ve kept a bunch of stuff separate in case all heck breaks loose with that property.
5. Set up trusts (transfer ownership).  Ooohhh… fancy.  Definitely need to do this at some point.  Not sure it’s really necessary now though… Bigger fish, IMO.
6. Divvy up your stuff.  Get your grubby hands off my stuff!  Ha!  Seriously, I don’t have much “stuff” but plan on giving it all away before I die.  I’d rather see people enjoy it than hold onto it for no particular reason.  If I die early, of course, my family will have to pick through my things and divvy it up themselves.  Maybe I’ll stick silly pics of myself around the house, just to creep them out.  Too mean?  I’m known for randomly sending goofy pics of me to my family (and coworkers during meetings).  Just silly faces pervs!  Imagine finding a drawer full of silly headshots… haha.  I play a lot of pranks.  Why should that stop when I die?
7. Plan your memorial (personalize your send-off) / prepay your funeral (plan, don’t prepay).  A bit creepy, but I’ve thought of this a few times (not prepay but preplan).  I’ve “almost” joined Funerals.org a few times.  I really should do this.  I’ve also thought of recording one of those videos that says “if you’re watching this, I’m either dead or you’re a jerk for playing this when it clearly says ‘don’t view this unless Nick’s dead’ on it.  If that’s the case whoever is watching this is out of the will!” Anyone do this or see one of these?  Creepy?
8. Choose burial or cremation.  Burial.  That was easy.  I’ve always been intrigued by the burial v. cremation debate?  Any cremationites (?) out there?

Ouch!  I only nailed 2 out of 8 and one of those is choosing to be buried, not very impressive.  A few others are in progress, but definitely incomplete.  New goal: 6 months to be ready to die right – either get each of these done or choose not to do some of these after appropriate consideration by the end of August. 

How’d you do?  Anyone else creeped out about this stuff?  What were your sticking points?  There’s really no excuse to stick your head in the sand and leave a mess if anything should happen to you. 

Until next time, put your credit card down and slowly step away from the mall!
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